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“Dr Hunter,” complained the elderly patient, “when I get up in the morning I feel quite faint - and it lasts for up to an hour. What do you suggest?” “Hmmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully stroking his chin. “How about getting up an hour later?”

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“Yeah, Doc, what’s the news?” asked Sam when his doctor called with his test results. “I have some bad news and some really bad news,” said the doctor. “The bad news is that you only have 24 hours to live.” “Oh my God,” gasped Fred as he dropped to his knees. “What could be worse news than that?” “I couldn’t get hold of you yesterday.”